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J&L's Diamond R "Bowser" Bear Taylor

Today was not great, my families 15 year old chocolate lab was put down. i found out last night that it was going to happen, and this morning i sent a text to my dad through tears asking if he would at least stay with him until the end. i couldn't call, i was crying too hard. this was dad's response:

I did and Bowser just fell
asleep @ 9:15. No more
seizures.

Why is letting go so hard? Bowser had seizures all his life, and was an overall awkward dog. He was afraid of heights. His ears were too short, and his bark was high pitched and annoying. He had an obsession with his metal bowl, and would spend hours banging it around in the back yard.

But he was faithful, and he loved us. I am pretty sure that dog would have gone to the moon and back if we had wanted him to, he loved to be given something to do. And would do just about anything to please. He did what every great dog does... he weasels his way into your heart, makes you mad and makes you forget again. He somehow knows when you are sad, and when you need space. He is a friend when you need one, and is still your friend when you get busy and forget about him.

I have grown up with dogs. Not just any dogs, but great ones that became a part of the family. They have taught me grace, patience and the importance of following through with things. I have loved them and lost them. And despite the tears I shed today, I will do it again. I will get a puppy, and make memories, laugh, love and lose again. But it is worth it.

rwanda?

thursday i heard the word go.
i love that word, but i have to be careful because it can easily get me into trouble if i am not listening well. i made a few phone calls, looked at tickets online and waited 24 hours. that is my new rule. i have to wait, at least 24 hours before running all over an idea, i have to stop and ask the Lord... and wait for an answer before i keep running. sometimes i know the answer already, but i still wait. there is something about that overwhelming peace from the Lord as you watch him orchestrate the things in your life in ways you could never have imagined.
i received the peace.
phone calls were returned.
emails were confirming.
tickets were bought.
i am leaving sunday and have nothing less than complete confidence that this is where and when i am supposed to go. with only 7 days on the ground, this will be a small taste of the summer months to come. but i am positive that it will be time well spent, in obedience of the word go.
a few months back, when expressing my frustration to a friend in a lack of direction for the future, she said:

jess, if God were to tell you where you were going to be a month from now, you would be bored with the idea before the week is up.
i think she is right. He keeps me on my toes, keeps me listening, and calls me to just obey.

helen and gifti, two of my very favorite people.