what now?

i saw the face of jesus in a little orphan girl

she was standing in the corner on the other side of the world

and i heard the voice of jesus gently whisper to my heart

didn't you say you wanted to find me,

well here i am, here you are

so what now

what will you do, now that you found me

what will you to with this treasure you found

i know i may not look like what you expected,

but if you remember, this is right where i said i would be

you found me

what now

come and know, come and know

know me now, come and know me.

what now?

so, i am not a huge fan of stephen curtis chapman... but these words get me. for two different reasons. first, the little orphan girl that he talks about in this song, is now my cousin, Orly. she no longer lives on the other side of the world, and she has people around her who love her. they saw the face of jesus in her, paid a ransom to the chinese government and brought her home.

so what now?

what do i do to answer the call, i have seen jesus on the other side of world, in pairs of white beady eyes shining from beneath black faces. what do i do with that? how do i answer my call? i know that adoption is not the answer for me right now, but what do i do to respond?

it is becoming more and more clear that i am going back to africa this summer. maybe not permanently right now, but at least for the summer. i got a call from a friend a few weeks ago, she wanted to get together. we did, last week. in the midst of conversation, she told me about a very small missions team that her and her husband are praying about forming. they are asking four people to join them for a few weeks working with a team they served on for a year in Tunisia. Their dear friends and mentors from their hometown, her sister... and me. wow.

i have committed to pray about it. i am planning on going back to east africa this summer anyway, to visit molly, anne and a few others in rwanda, maybe gifti & helen in sudan and hopefully joyce's family in kenya. now maybe Tunisia too.

joyce

i met joyce two years ago, on my first trip to africa. we crossed paths, only for one night, at the frm guesthouse in kampala, uganda. we shared a bowl of spaghetti together, exchanged stories and parted ways. i left early the next morning for nimule and returned home to nairobi.

almost two months later, i met joyce again in nairobi when she came to teach bible study at calvary chapel. i listened as she shared her story to all of the women gathered around.

*this is her testimony, to the best of my memory, i may have some details off*

she was hired to cook and clean for the frm guesthouse only a few years before. surrounded by over a million people, living in the slums was lonely and hopeless. joyce was not a believer and really had no interest in God. within a short time of working at the guesthouse she began to notice that she was not working for ordinary 'mzungus' or white people. there was something different about the people. she began visiting church on sundays and asking questions throughout the week. one afternoon, she decided that she wanted to be apart of the family of God, and asked the Lord to take over in her life. almost instantly, it was evident that God was working in her life. she became the most radiant, joyful and encouraging person to be around. she ate up the scripture and spoke truth into the lives of those around her. she began volunteering at the church and leading small groups of women through the scriptures. her four kids accepted Christ and she managed to get her sister, eunice to visit church with her kids.

after she accepted the Lord, joyce was asked to take a position working in women's ministry at the church. she was one of the first female kenyans to take a role in the ministry, and hundreds of women began to hear her teach truth on a weekly basis.

her sister, eunice began working at the guesthouse when joyce took the job in ministry, and when i was in kenya, two years ago... eunice stated that she had accepted Christ as her Lord and Savior. i had the opportunity to spend thanksgiving with the frm team in kenya along with joyce, eunice and the kids. the joy that fills them and those around them is an incredible witness to so many in africa.

several weeks ago, joyce was diagnosed with a late stage of leukemia and given three to four months to live. her films were sent to a western hospital, hoping that maybe they would be able to offer some sort of promising treatment, but God had different plans. yesterday evening, joyce njeri went to be with the Lord. she has had such an incredible impact on so many women, and her time on this earth is finished. i am thankful that she is no longer suffering in pain, but please pray eunice and her four children as they adjust to life without her.

i look forward to the day that i can be with her again!

glasses

today i got glasses. i have been thinking about going to the doctor for a few weeks because of headaches and lots of squinting, but keep putting it off. plus, my vision is good, it always has been. dad was in town tonight, and took me to a walk-in eye doctor. two hours later, i walked out with two thin little pieces of glass surrounded by black plastic frames around my eyes. glasses. still living in denial, sure that my vision couldn't possibly warrant glasses... i walked outside. suddenly, i could see.

i had NO idea what i was missing out on! Everything was clearer, more defined. Black is blacker, white is whiter and every color is richer than before. It is hard to explain, but it is truly life changing!

so often, i walk through life, thinking that i am good. i am sure i could do more, give more of myself... but relatively, i am doing well. i wonder what would it be like for me to get glasses? glasses for my life. what does it look like for me to be more effective, more powerful for the gospel, for the lives of those around me. what area of life am i not living with perfect vision.

my loss in vision has been coming on so slow that i haven't noticed.

until last night, i didn't even know what i was missing. I live and breath color, as an artist and photographer... color matters. and i didn't notice.

what else in my life am i not noticing?

time-warp

it is hard to believe how fast time has gone. i am not in sudan, school starts in less than 20 days and it seems just like yesterday that i was living a ten minute walk from the l'arc de triumph in the center of paris. all of this, and yet i feel lost. stuck in a sort of time warp between three worlds, unable to actually live in any of them.

like new

you would have thought that it was christmas morning for over 600 kids at irya primary school in Loa this morning. i was privliged to call each of the 94 kids that i have been teaching the last three days, by name, to the front of the classroom, hand them a backpack loaded with new clothes, school supplies and a mosquito net and give them a hug. most of these kids have never in there life had anything unused, everything has had a previous owner. more often than not, two or three previous owners by the time it makes its way up to sudan.

the gang...

a show of hands when they were asked how many decided to ask Jesus into their life this week. yes, God showed up in big ways!

in my classroom

love covers irya primary

God showed up. mountains were moved. and something much bigger than us, happened. kids heard the gospel, many for the first time. we left behind something much greater than a 600 backpacks and red t-shirts.

love covers iriya

looking into the face of a little person who doesn't know anyone cares. he has no concept of love. he has never had new clothes. his belly has never been full. he doesn't know life will ever be different.

today, i had the opportunity to look these little people in the eyes and tell them about a love so deep that it will change their lives long after i am gone. a love that cares. a love that clothes. a love that fills. a love that will never leave. a love that changes lives. today i looked into the faces of 94 little people who have lives that parallel the one above and told them about the love of jesus. one little boy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked if he could have this love. we prayed, right then and there. today 94 third graders asked jesus into their heart, confessed that they are messy, imperfect people in need of a big God. they believe in a God that cares. a God that loves. a God that clothes. a God that provides. a God that promises to never leave or forsake them. they believe in this, even though their circumstances have not changed.

for the next two days, i get to love on these 94 third graders. they have no idea that on day three, they are getting a brand new school uniform that is their size, new school supplies, a new t-shirt... all in a new backpack with their name on it. they have no idea that they have been prayed for, by name, for the last 4 months.

these 94 little people have no idea all of the blessings that God has in store for them, but they have faith in a God so big that loves them, and they are trusting Him. today as i walked away from the school they followed me and were singing (and by singing, i mean screaming at the top of their lungs) the words were in Madi but literally translated mean, "Jesus number One, number One Jesus, Jesus is number One in my Life". I will never forget these precious words.

home away from home

i am in juba this week... the capital of southern sudan. wes has meetings with the general, vice-president and possibly, the president of sudan. all important people that have the power to change things in this country. it is incredible to see the Lord open door after door to the leaders of this country. i truly believe this country can and will be won for the gospel of Christ.

far reaching ministries (FRM) started over 14 years ago with a calling placed on wes, my uncle's, heart to reach the people of sudan. he started a bible college for chaplains in the SPLA (southern people's liberation army) in a small town, just north of the ugandan border. today, over 300 men have graduated from the bible college, and are deployed around the country to different divisions within the army, reaching men, women and children with the light of the gospel. these men are trained to plant churches, develop weekly studies for both men and women's groups and begin a children's ministry. God is moving and i have a front row seat.