06 September 2010
29 March 2010
J&L's Diamond R "Bowser" Bear Taylor
Today was not great, my families 15 year old chocolate lab was put down. i found out last night that it was going to happen, and this morning i sent a text to my dad through tears asking if he would at least stay with him until the end. i couldn't call, i was crying too hard. this was dad's response:
I did and Bowser just fell
asleep @ 9:15. No more
seizures.
Why is letting go so hard? Bowser had seizures all his life, and was an overall awkward dog. He was afraid of heights. His ears were too short, and his bark was high pitched and annoying. He had an obsession with his metal bowl, and would spend hours banging it around in the back yard.
But he was faithful, and he loved us. I am pretty sure that dog would have gone to the moon and back if we had wanted him to, he loved to be given something to do. And would do just about anything to please. He did what every great dog does... he weasels his way into your heart, makes you mad and makes you forget again. He somehow knows when you are sad, and when you need space. He is a friend when you need one, and is still your friend when you get busy and forget about him.
I have grown up with dogs. Not just any dogs, but great ones that became a part of the family. They have taught me grace, patience and the importance of following through with things. I have loved them and lost them. And despite the tears I shed today, I will do it again. I will get a puppy, and make memories, laugh, love and lose again. But it is worth it.
05 January 2010
rwanda?
thursday i heard the word go.
i love that word, but i have to be careful because it can easily get me into trouble if i am not listening well. i made a few phone calls, looked at tickets online and waited 24 hours. that is my new rule. i have to wait, at least 24 hours before running all over an idea, i have to stop and ask the Lord... and wait for an answer before i keep running. sometimes i know the answer already, but i still wait. there is something about that overwhelming peace from the Lord as you watch him orchestrate the things in your life in ways you could never have imagined.
i received the peace.
phone calls were returned.
emails were confirming.
tickets were bought.
i am leaving sunday and have nothing less than complete confidence that this is where and when i am supposed to go. with only 7 days on the ground, this will be a small taste of the summer months to come. but i am positive that it will be time well spent, in obedience of the word go.
a few months back, when expressing my frustration to a friend in a lack of direction for the future, she said:
jess, if God were to tell you where you were going to be a month from now, you would be bored with the idea before the week is up.
i think she is right. He keeps me on my toes, keeps me listening, and calls me to just obey.
i love that word, but i have to be careful because it can easily get me into trouble if i am not listening well. i made a few phone calls, looked at tickets online and waited 24 hours. that is my new rule. i have to wait, at least 24 hours before running all over an idea, i have to stop and ask the Lord... and wait for an answer before i keep running. sometimes i know the answer already, but i still wait. there is something about that overwhelming peace from the Lord as you watch him orchestrate the things in your life in ways you could never have imagined.
i received the peace.
phone calls were returned.
emails were confirming.
tickets were bought.
i am leaving sunday and have nothing less than complete confidence that this is where and when i am supposed to go. with only 7 days on the ground, this will be a small taste of the summer months to come. but i am positive that it will be time well spent, in obedience of the word go.
a few months back, when expressing my frustration to a friend in a lack of direction for the future, she said:
jess, if God were to tell you where you were going to be a month from now, you would be bored with the idea before the week is up.
i think she is right. He keeps me on my toes, keeps me listening, and calls me to just obey.
helen and gifti, two of my very favorite people.
30 December 2009
each face has a story
yesterday i was going through my images from this summer, i couldn't help but relive the moments i have spent with these people. each one has a story to tell, brothers, sisters, and parents that have shaped who they are. they have names and lives, on the other side of the world, and i have the opportunity to be apart of them, even if only for an instant.
kids in the second division military base outside of Juba (capital of southern sudan)
mary. she has no physical reason in the world to be happy. but has more joy than you would think possible for a three year old.
Joseph. One of my favorite chaplains. I worked with him for four weeks in Loa, while we were running a program at the local school. Seeing this guy love on kids, you would never know lost his parents at a young age.
Joska. She lives down the street from one of the chaplains and runs up to greet me every time I visit the house. She longs to be known, listened to, and understood.
kids in the second division military base outside of Juba (capital of southern sudan)
mary. she has no physical reason in the world to be happy. but has more joy than you would think possible for a three year old.
Joseph. One of my favorite chaplains. I worked with him for four weeks in Loa, while we were running a program at the local school. Seeing this guy love on kids, you would never know lost his parents at a young age.
Joska. She lives down the street from one of the chaplains and runs up to greet me every time I visit the house. She longs to be known, listened to, and understood.
19 December 2009
a different kind of christmas season
Two years ago today, I returned home from my first trip to africa. My world had been changed forever.
For three months, I lived with no running water or electricity, eating beans and rice and maybe an occasional potato, three months with not one familiar face, watching as my Savior took away everything familiar to me and revealed himself to me through the faces and hearts of the african people I was living with. In a short three months, my world was shattered to pieces. The stories brought me to my knees in tears as I listened to a young girl tell me that she lost one of her three children to starvation, but that she trusted the Lord was going to provide for their meal tomorrow, of a soldier tell of how he left home to defend his country and returned to find that his family had been killed by the very people he was sent to fight. And yet these people were so full of joy, radiant at the knowledge that they were loved, protected and known by their heavenly Father.
Coming home, I flew through London and had a several hour layover. I left the airport and walked through Hyde Park at daybreak. Being only a few days from Christmas, the entire city was decked out. The window displays at Herrod's alone were proof of the commercial holiday season. The city was beautiful, but something was missing. The people I walked passed in London seemed to move from one event to the next, they had everything they needed to live comfortably, but they still looked empty. Life in Africa was the journey, the ups and downs of everyday happenings, the faith that a little boy born in a manger over 2000 years ago was sent to save them, and had changed their lives and mine, forever.
Christmas has always been a little better to me because of africa as I am reminded to live the journey and not the event.
For three months, I lived with no running water or electricity, eating beans and rice and maybe an occasional potato, three months with not one familiar face, watching as my Savior took away everything familiar to me and revealed himself to me through the faces and hearts of the african people I was living with. In a short three months, my world was shattered to pieces. The stories brought me to my knees in tears as I listened to a young girl tell me that she lost one of her three children to starvation, but that she trusted the Lord was going to provide for their meal tomorrow, of a soldier tell of how he left home to defend his country and returned to find that his family had been killed by the very people he was sent to fight. And yet these people were so full of joy, radiant at the knowledge that they were loved, protected and known by their heavenly Father.
Coming home, I flew through London and had a several hour layover. I left the airport and walked through Hyde Park at daybreak. Being only a few days from Christmas, the entire city was decked out. The window displays at Herrod's alone were proof of the commercial holiday season. The city was beautiful, but something was missing. The people I walked passed in London seemed to move from one event to the next, they had everything they needed to live comfortably, but they still looked empty. Life in Africa was the journey, the ups and downs of everyday happenings, the faith that a little boy born in a manger over 2000 years ago was sent to save them, and had changed their lives and mine, forever.
Christmas has always been a little better to me because of africa as I am reminded to live the journey and not the event.
03 November 2009
what now?
i saw the face of jesus in a little orphan girl
she was standing in the corner on the other side of the world
and i heard the voice of jesus gently whisper to my heart
didn't you say you wanted to find me,
well here i am, here you are
so what now
what will you do, now that you found me
what will you to with this treasure you found
i know i may not look like what you expected,
but if you remember, this is right where i said i would be
you found me
what now
come and know, come and know
know me now, come and know me.
what now?
so what now?
what do i do to answer the call, i have seen jesus on the other side of world, in pairs of white beady eyes shining from beneath black faces. what do i do with that? how do i answer my call? i know that adoption is not the answer for me right now, but what do i do to respond?
it is becoming more and more clear that i am going back to africa this summer. maybe not permanently right now, but at least for the summer. i got a call from a friend a few weeks ago, she wanted to get together. we did, last week. in the midst of conversation, she told me about a very small missions team that her and her husband are praying about forming. they are asking four people to join them for a few weeks working with a team they served on for a year in Tunisia. Their dear friends and mentors from their hometown, her sister... and me. wow.
i have committed to pray about it. i am planning on going back to east africa this summer anyway, to visit molly, anne and a few others in rwanda, maybe gifti & helen in sudan and hopefully joyce's family in kenya. now maybe Tunisia too.
11 October 2009
joyce
almost two months later, i met joyce again in nairobi when she came to teach bible study at calvary chapel. i listened as she shared her story to all of the women gathered around.
*this is her testimony, to the best of my memory, i may have some details off*
she was hired to cook and clean for the frm guesthouse only a few years before. surrounded by over a million people, living in the slums was lonely and hopeless. joyce was not a believer and really had no interest in God. within a short time of working at the guesthouse she began to notice that she was not working for ordinary 'mzungus' or white people. there was something different about the people. she began visiting church on sundays and asking questions throughout the week. one afternoon, she decided that she wanted to be apart of the family of God, and asked the Lord to take over in her life. almost instantly, it was evident that God was working in her life. she became the most radiant, joyful and encouraging person to be around. she ate up the scripture and spoke truth into the lives of those around her. she began volunteering at the church and leading small groups of women through the scriptures. her four kids accepted Christ and she managed to get her sister, eunice to visit church with her kids.
after she accepted the Lord, joyce was asked to take a position working in women's ministry at the church. she was one of the first female kenyans to take a role in the ministry, and hundreds of women began to hear her teach truth on a weekly basis.
her sister, eunice began working at the guesthouse when joyce took the job in ministry, and when i was in kenya, two years ago... eunice stated that she had accepted Christ as her Lord and Savior. i had the opportunity to spend thanksgiving with the frm team in kenya along with joyce, eunice and the kids. the joy that fills them and those around them is an incredible witness to so many in africa.
several weeks ago, joyce was diagnosed with a late stage of leukemia and given three to four months to live. her films were sent to a western hospital, hoping that maybe they would be able to offer some sort of promising treatment, but God had different plans. yesterday evening, joyce njeri went to be with the Lord. she has had such an incredible impact on so many women, and her time on this earth is finished. i am thankful that she is no longer suffering in pain, but please pray eunice and her four children as they adjust to life without her.
i look forward to the day that i can be with her again!
*this is her testimony, to the best of my memory, i may have some details off*
she was hired to cook and clean for the frm guesthouse only a few years before. surrounded by over a million people, living in the slums was lonely and hopeless. joyce was not a believer and really had no interest in God. within a short time of working at the guesthouse she began to notice that she was not working for ordinary 'mzungus' or white people. there was something different about the people. she began visiting church on sundays and asking questions throughout the week. one afternoon, she decided that she wanted to be apart of the family of God, and asked the Lord to take over in her life. almost instantly, it was evident that God was working in her life. she became the most radiant, joyful and encouraging person to be around. she ate up the scripture and spoke truth into the lives of those around her. she began volunteering at the church and leading small groups of women through the scriptures. her four kids accepted Christ and she managed to get her sister, eunice to visit church with her kids.
after she accepted the Lord, joyce was asked to take a position working in women's ministry at the church. she was one of the first female kenyans to take a role in the ministry, and hundreds of women began to hear her teach truth on a weekly basis.
her sister, eunice began working at the guesthouse when joyce took the job in ministry, and when i was in kenya, two years ago... eunice stated that she had accepted Christ as her Lord and Savior. i had the opportunity to spend thanksgiving with the frm team in kenya along with joyce, eunice and the kids. the joy that fills them and those around them is an incredible witness to so many in africa.
several weeks ago, joyce was diagnosed with a late stage of leukemia and given three to four months to live. her films were sent to a western hospital, hoping that maybe they would be able to offer some sort of promising treatment, but God had different plans. yesterday evening, joyce njeri went to be with the Lord. she has had such an incredible impact on so many women, and her time on this earth is finished. i am thankful that she is no longer suffering in pain, but please pray eunice and her four children as they adjust to life without her.
i look forward to the day that i can be with her again!
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